a couple years ago, on one of my old blogs, i took a pic and wrote up a post all centered on daffodils. in that post, i didn’t go into much detail as to what daffodils mean to me.. or what they were meant to symbolize, or exactly what i was feeling emotional about. but, today, i think i will.
i’m sure i’ve mentioned it before, here or elsewhere, that the month of april is a kind of difficult month for me. it’s been a difficult month for me for the last 19 years, and will probably be the hardest month of the year for the rest of my life. and it’s because 19 years ago, at the end of april in 1997.. i lost my father to cancer.
if you’ve lost a parent, or a loved one, then you know exactly what i mean. i lost him when i was young, i was only 13 when he passed away, and it’s not really a wound that heals over completely. there are times when it’s easier, and there are times when i’m really feeling it, and the beginning of april.. and the entire month throughout.. brings back a lot of memories and a lot of feelings that i still, to this day, have trouble dealing with.
but daffodils.. are something that brings me a wee little bit of comfort. they symbolize hope, not just to me but to a lot of people. for me they symbolize remembrance too, and are something i’ve just come to associate with the month of april and my dad and everything that went with it.
i know the flowers i have in my picture this time are not actual daffodils. but they’re yellow and bright and cheerful and pretty, and the intent remains the same. i’m wearing them because i’m thinking of my dad, and missing him terribly, and feeling like even in a virtual world.. i’m honoring him with these sunny, lovely flowers. ♥
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
what i’m wearing…
body + feet – maitreya – lara
hands – slink – avatar enhancement casual && elegant
skin – glam affair – klarissa in america (@ shiny shabby)
eyes – insufferable dastard – brilliant eyes in ocean
eye makeup – veechi – rebel liner in yellow
lipgloss – haus of darcy – forever gloss in light shine
hair + headband – exile – peaceful easy feeling (@ collabor88)
tattoo – white widow – assassin in white (@ shiny shabby)
piercings – haus of darcy – dark winged
nails – .vix – convo hearts
romper – zaara – ekanta jumpsuit in lime (@ collabor88)
shoes – essenz – rotterdam in soft yellow (@ tres chic)
necklace – maxi gossamer – unicorn maiden star
flower – lode – blossoms single peony
poses – del may
location – sarawak